


A Lesson in Diplomacy

by DameRuth



Series: Bliss [33]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24652993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DameRuth/pseuds/DameRuth
Summary: Nine decides to teach Jack a lesson.[Continuing the Teaspoon imports, originally posted 2009.09.16.]
Relationships: Ninth Doctor/Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler
Series: Bliss [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/14078
Kudos: 23





	A Lesson in Diplomacy

**Author's Note:**

> A [Support Stacie](http://www.majiksfanfic.com/phpbb/viewforum.php?f=111) bidding incentive fic for Yamx, to the prompt: "Jack annoys Nine and has to face the consequences. *g* (Bliss!verse, please.)," to be added to the pile of fics from other authors written to the same prompt. Note that I deliberately avoided reading anyone else's drabble/ficlet before finishing this, to keep the response uniquely mine; I hope there's no unintentional duplication/similarity. Yeah, I'm having a hard time keeping these at drabble length, if y'all haven't noticed . . .

"You know, Doc," Jack began, bending down to peer into the access shaft where the Doctor was working, "I bet the engines would get another four, five percent efficiency if you ran the fuel cell connections though the central processing hub."  
  
The Doctor grunted. "Might do -- if the hub wasn't configured for maximum stabilizer efficiency. Fiddle with _that_ and we'll have even rougher landings than we do now. That a side effect you fancy?"  
  
"Well, no . . ."  
  
"Didn't think so. Now hand me that soldering iron and hush."  
  
\--  
  
"You know, Doc," Jack began a few days later.  
  
Even though the only part of the Doctor physically visible was his feet and legs, sticking out from under the console, the ever-looming storm of his telepathic manifestation was clear to "see," and it darkened noticeably.  
  
Jack was undeterred. "If you added a second diode array, I bet the flux capacitor would last a lot longer between tune-ups," he continued cheerfully.  
  
"I already thought of that, oh, about six hundred years ago," the Doctor responded, a dangerous hint of growl clearly audible even though his voice was muffled. Flickers of lightning stitched through phantom clouds, warning of thunder to come. "We've been together a long time, me and the TARDIS. Turns out a second diode array can drain power from the main navigational systems when the system's under Vortex stress -- which is the last time y' want _that_ to happen."  
  
"Oh. Yeah, that would be bad."  
  
"It _was_ bad. Now hush."  
  
\---  
  
A few invigorating adventures later, Rose declared that she was taking a day off, in a tone that brooked no argument, and headed for a long soak in a hot bath with a good book. While it was implied that company wouldn't be unwelcome later, it was also fairly clear that she needed some time to herself. The Doctor headed for the depths of the TARDIS without complaint, since there was always some little bit of system-fiddling or repair work on his mental to-do list.  
  
Jack normally took advantage of time alone to comb through the Library in his own never-ending quest to find a mutually acceptable marriage ceremony for the three of them. Most of the time he enjoyed the chance to prowl around the peaceful stacks on a not-particularly-pressing mission, but he was having no luck finding even the faintest of leads and he wasn't really in the mood to concentrate, anyway. Eventually, he gave up and went in search of the Doctor for distraction.  
  
The Doctor had several wall rondels in the control room open and was elbows-deep in one when Jack arrived. Seeing that, Jack was reminded of a thought he'd had earlier.  
  
"You know, Doc," he said, without noticing the sudden tension in leather-clad shoulders, or the way the lazy gyre of the Doctor's manifestation abruptly contracted and began swirling more rapidly, "if you replaced the quartzite nexus crystals in the control panel with carbon-diamond switches, you'd reduce those piezoelectric interference surges that always futz up the readouts . . ."  
  
He trailed off when the Doctor turned fierce blue eyes in his direction and the psionic illusion of storm clouds reared up into a towering anvil head, looming well beyond the physical capacity of the control room.  
  
"Tell you what, Captain," the Doctor said, with a knife-edged grin, his voice far too bright and cheerful to match the rest of him, "Seein' as how you're such an expert on my ship, you can take over here. Fix it all up however you like. She's all yours."  
  
While Jack gaped at him, the Doctor lifted up the human's limp, unresisting hand, slapped a pair of pliers into the palm, and closed his fingers around the tool. Before Jack could manage to respond, the Time Lord had turned in a swirl of leather and clouds and -- quite literally -- stormed out of the room.  
  
Jack looked down at the pliers in his hand, and then up at the complicated mass of . . . things spilling out of the opened rondels. He blinked, recovering, then his jaw tightened.  
  
"Fine," he said, a bit of storm and thunder in his own tone. " _Be_ that way." He advanced on the half-disassembled machinery with confident purpose.  
  
\---  
  
Twenty minutes later, the purpose was still there but the confidence had almost completely evaporated. Jack was, quite simply, stumped. He recognized a component here or there but those were clearly jury-rigged into the larger framework of the larger system the Doctor had been working on, and _that_ was utterly unfamiliar. Also very, very alien, meaning it completely lacked any sort of human-intuitive logic Jack could use to puzzle out its function.  
  
Frustrated, he poked here and there with the pliers, cursing mentally, unwilling to mess with something he didn't understand in the slightest. That was never a good thing to do in a time- and/or space ship . . . especially one currently hovering in the Vortex, rather than safely on the ground in drydock.  
  
He dropped his hand, letting the pliers hang loosely at his side while he blew out an angry breath. _Okay, I'm going to take_ one more _shot at figuring this out . . ._  
  
He was so focused, he genuinely didn't realize he was being watched until he heard the discreet throat-clearing behind him, and turned to find Rose and the Doctor both leaning against the console in matching poses: arms crossed, legs crossed at the ankle, both smiling slightly. From the happy psychic energy they projected, not only had Rose's Spa Day been a relaxing success for her, she'd given the Doctor a hand (and probably a few other body parts) in getting out of his annoyed mood. They were both highly amused, but with an affectionate overtone tempering the emotion.  
  
Jack was on the very edge of being pissed off at both of them, but it wasn't in his nature to hold grudges (especially against his partners, especially when they were standing there . . . glowing so appealingly in his direction), so the balance tipped abruptly in the opposite direction.  
  
"All right, Doc," Jack said, with wry humor. "You've made your point. You're the TARDIS expert and I'm not. So put me out of my misery. What _does_ need fixing here?"  
  
"Nothing," the Doctor told him, with a wide, almost loony grin. "Haven't used that particular system in decades, not since I replaced it with something it's easier to find parts for. I was just disassembling it to clear it out of the way."  
  
Jack blew out a breath that was somewhere between a growl and a laugh. Why, you --" he began, but as he did so, Rose elbowed the Doctor in the side, and the Time Lord held up a silencing hand.  
  
"Still, though, that was a good suggestion you had about the crystal switches. Don't know why I didn't think of that."  
  
Jack blinked, thrown off-guard by the Doctor's concession.  
  
"You've got a good sense for these things," the Doctor added, "just . . ."  
  
"Use a little more diplomacy when you're making suggestions," Rose finished, with a private wink sent through the link. ( _Time Lords/gotta coddle 'em/fact of life_ ).  
  
"I'll keep that in mind," Jack said, managing to keep his outer tone dry while he sent Rose a private empathic leer. ( _"Coddle"?_ ) Rose fought down a smile, a faint flush coloring her cheeks. "Acknowledging my place in the hierarchy, sir!" He snapped a tight, ironic salute in the Doctor's direction.  
  
The Doctor wrinkled his nose impressively. "None of that," he growled. "Though if you'd like to make yourself useful, you can help me finish the job here -- and pick up a few pointers. Suppose after that we could take the spare parts and see about trading 'em in for some diamond switches . . ."  
  
Rose brightened (on all levels) at that remark. "We haven't been shopping in a while!"  
  
"What can I say?" Jack said, acquiescing with false humility. "I live to serve." He reached up and placed the pliers (which he was still holding) over his heart in a dramatic gesture.  
  
Rose laughed out loud and the Doctor rolled his eyes.  
  
"None of _that_ , either," the Doctor said, stepping forward to take back the pliers. "Now: mouth shut, eyes open. Rose, you too. This bundle of cables here connects to the aft extrapolator shielding . . ."

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=33099>


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